I found my blog today.  I have not even thought about writing in it until today.  

Today is a new day.

Yesterday, my Doc told me that I needed to lose 100 pounds.  My excess weight is affecting my lungs and causing me to wheeze and have trouble sleeping.  He said that losing weight would, plain and simple, reverse this.

So I'm going to blog the whole thing.
  

Hello world of the living..I'm back and ready to go.

I don't want to try and analyze anything to death, ad nauseum, but I keep finding myself back to the starting block where I feel like I'm revving up after having lost my way somehow.  Is that my lifestyle that I've lived all these years...feast or famine?  Is it doing things that I can't maintain, and that are bound to fail?  Whatever has brought me here, starting over, here I am.  OK.

I wrote down this evening.some notes and some honest answers.  I'm a big girl now.

Why EXACTLY am I overweight? 
#1.  Because I eat more than my body needs...I do this, I know I do.  I eat because the food is there and think about it all the time.  This has been my lifelong pattern except for a few times I was able to eat intuitively.
#2.  Because I get very little exercise.  I know this, and know that I feel better and lose weight better and move better when I go to the pool.  Yes, my legs and body hurt when I do, but then they hurt/ache when I don't.  Hmm.. no rocket science required to figure that out.

OK, those are the definite "whys." 

Is my obesity medicine-related?  Not sure
Is my obesity thyroid-related?  Not sure
Is my obesity illness-related?  No

Can I fix #1 and #2 above?  Yes
WILL I fix #1 and #2 above?  IDK on a long-term basis
WHAT will happen if I don't fix or modify #1 and #2 above?  A. Worse knees  B. Worse breathing  C. Worse health  D. Worse pain all over   E.  Less life here on earth.

Do I find pleasure in food?  Yes.   It's fun, it's exciting, it's calming, it's pretty, it's satisfying, it's homey, it's snuggly.  Where are my other pleasures, and has food usurped them in my life?

My other pleasures:

~communing with God
~Color!!  And more color!!
~Animals
~Nature and plants
~Creating and inventing
~Deals and Bargains and Hunting the same

So, it stands to reason that I need to increase the regularity and general presence of the pleasures in my life.  The deals and bargains, my dogs, and communing with God now and then are the only pleasures I have at the moment...the others are non-existent.  I want to start out in the manner, and let the dependence on food as most of my pleasure diminish.

Wi.l.l I do what I just wrote, or will I stay in the Ready, Set phase of this endeavor?  I don't know...it could go either way.  I could go home and get involved in something else and then never go back to this blog for another year and a half.  Very possible.  I hope and pray that what brought me here tonight continues to push me into the future with this.  I will try my best.

What a year and a half, what a year and a half......

Take several very hard things to deal with and shove them down my throat, and that's what it's been like since I last posted.   OK, enough said.

This is my last post that refers to the past 1.5 years.  Behind me....on to the future.

Rollin' down the track...ain't never gonna look back.

Today was a most remarkable one.  We finished getting all of the carpet out of the living room, leaving behind a not-too-shabby-looking wood floor.  It's a wonderful feeling!!

Then, went to the pool this a.m.  Haven't been in months and months.  I had to really push myself.  Of course, I always find it easier when I pray daily for God's help in making all these changes and then all of a sudden (well, not a miracle or anything!) one day I CAN do what I've not been able to push myself to do for days and months.  :)

At the pool, I connected up with a woman I used to work with who is going to the very classes in the pool that I've been shy about going to -- so I'm going starting this Tuesday!!  I also met a woman who has lost over 100 pounds by swimming in the pool daily.  It's seems the pool was "stocked" with inspirational people today!  Even the lifeguards were carrying on and having a great time with everyone.  I worked for about an hour and did lots of different exercises to stretch and also some cardio.  I even took my friend's challenge to pull myself up out of the pool onto the side -- like a dolphin does at a show -- and I did it!  Not too shabby for being very out of shape!  I thoroughly enjoyed myself today. 

What joys will tomorrow bring!!??

The carpet is leaving the building....

Tuesday is the day set to take the living room carpet up!  I'm very excited that can't wait!  We may even get to the dining room carpet.  In the meantime, I am straightening and re-arranging and collecting stuff for Good Will and for yard sales.  I feel a great sense of power and promise. 

Here we go!!

Well, the brothers are gone now, but one will be back today...and I'll just have to work around him, as he's going to be staying here for a few weeks.  But I'm NOT going to let that sidetrack me...you hear me!!??   Actually, I'm hoping he will help me with my clean-em-up efforts and be some muscle for me.  The 1st thing on the agenda is to take up the old carpet in this house that is aggravating my allergies.  I'm aiming for Friday to get that done.  And that makes me think....I need to have a schedule for the changes that I'm effecting here.  That will help me focus and help my brother know how to schedule his work around what I need to get done.  I will make a schedule today.  Check!

My project starts Monday!

It's hard to do much with my brothers here in the house----cause they're staying in the rooms I need to de-clutter!  One brother leaves Sunday...and one will be staying, but hopefully for not much longer, as it is really unplanned that he was going to be coming back here, since he had trekked out to the West Coast I thought for quite a while.  But I'm just NOT going to let this de-rail me.  I'm not happy here in my own home and that's just not the way it should be, people. 

I'm working up to this by doing SOMETHING over and above my daily routine every day.  I have to wonder why I haven't done more, because the feeling of accomplishment is very, very rich.  I could get addicted to it.